Gentle Reader, I come to you today with an open heart and honesty. I am, if nothing else, a lost soul. This will not be what most of you are expecting. It probably won't even make you laugh at all. Feel free to close this out now if you thought I might give you a good laugh today. I won't. Those of you still with me, I pity you for reading this. If you have been reading, you know everything that I have been through. A lot of which, I brought upon myself with poor decisions and even shittier execution. I have failed time after time with relationship after relationship. I haven't had a girlfriend since Thanksgiving. This is the longest period of time I have spent alone since I could achieve an erection. You laugh, but it's the truth. I have never been one to walk alone. I depended on women for my own happiness. I needed their approval to feel complete; to define my self-worth.
I was a whore, in the truest sense of the word. I gave myself away for a few moments of pleasure because I thought that made me better than the other guys out there. The more women I could sleep with, the better man that made me. It did no such thing. It has led me astray countless times. Getting all of this out of my system, and reading it back to myself has been a learning experience for me. I have taken baby-steps to being a better man along the way. Taking one thing from this failed relationship, and taking something else from another. This is what I want. This is what I don't want. I guess I am a slow learner, or maybe I have just never met the one that will change my world forever. I know now that it was my insecurity that gave birth to Captain Save-A-Ho. Being myself was never enough. I felt like I had to pull someone out of a hole that they couldn't get out of themselves, and their gratitude for what I did would be what would keep them here with me. Throw money at them, and they will have to love me. They might love you, but they will never be in love with you. I met a couple women along the way who gave me their number, but I didn't even feel worthy enough to be with them. So, I didn't call.
One of the things I have learned is that I could never be with a bimbo. If you talk endlessly about yourself and all of the meaningless things you have done, how cute your boyfriend is, then you aren't the one for me. I don't care that you bought a new bathing suit or the fact that your mom only called you twice this week, instead of the regular three times. Cry me a fucking river. Shallow does not suit anyone. It is a symptom of insecurity. If you have to tell me that your significant other is attractive, I think you are missing the point. I'm not saying that there can't be attraction, but I hope that attraction can be built upon things other than looks alone. Instead, tell me how amazing he makes you feel about yourself. About how you have never felt so loved. That I could understand. See, I live my life inside my own head. I have a brain that never stops and my thoughts, my hopes, and my dreams are what make me who I am. I need someone who can at least think for themselves.
I dig a girl that reads. Give me books over bikinis any day. A great conversation beats a perfect rack every day of the week. A great conversation leaves you thinking, laughing, and smiling for days afterwards. A great bikini just leaves you horny. If you don't read for fun, don't bother. I even read nerdy shit full of dragons, wizards, and parallel universes. Yep, that's how Miles rolls. Like Harry Potter with a hard-on. I have just found that a brain likes a brain that can keep up. So, yeah, I am a big fan of spelling, grammar, and past fucking participles. If you want to give me a try, go work on conjugating your verbs. Also, work on there, their, and they're. That shit makes you look ignorant when you get it wrong. Until next time, Gentle Reader.
I was a whore, in the truest sense of the word. I gave myself away for a few moments of pleasure because I thought that made me better than the other guys out there. The more women I could sleep with, the better man that made me. It did no such thing. It has led me astray countless times. Getting all of this out of my system, and reading it back to myself has been a learning experience for me. I have taken baby-steps to being a better man along the way. Taking one thing from this failed relationship, and taking something else from another. This is what I want. This is what I don't want. I guess I am a slow learner, or maybe I have just never met the one that will change my world forever. I know now that it was my insecurity that gave birth to Captain Save-A-Ho. Being myself was never enough. I felt like I had to pull someone out of a hole that they couldn't get out of themselves, and their gratitude for what I did would be what would keep them here with me. Throw money at them, and they will have to love me. They might love you, but they will never be in love with you. I met a couple women along the way who gave me their number, but I didn't even feel worthy enough to be with them. So, I didn't call.
One of the things I have learned is that I could never be with a bimbo. If you talk endlessly about yourself and all of the meaningless things you have done, how cute your boyfriend is, then you aren't the one for me. I don't care that you bought a new bathing suit or the fact that your mom only called you twice this week, instead of the regular three times. Cry me a fucking river. Shallow does not suit anyone. It is a symptom of insecurity. If you have to tell me that your significant other is attractive, I think you are missing the point. I'm not saying that there can't be attraction, but I hope that attraction can be built upon things other than looks alone. Instead, tell me how amazing he makes you feel about yourself. About how you have never felt so loved. That I could understand. See, I live my life inside my own head. I have a brain that never stops and my thoughts, my hopes, and my dreams are what make me who I am. I need someone who can at least think for themselves.
I dig a girl that reads. Give me books over bikinis any day. A great conversation beats a perfect rack every day of the week. A great conversation leaves you thinking, laughing, and smiling for days afterwards. A great bikini just leaves you horny. If you don't read for fun, don't bother. I even read nerdy shit full of dragons, wizards, and parallel universes. Yep, that's how Miles rolls. Like Harry Potter with a hard-on. I have just found that a brain likes a brain that can keep up. So, yeah, I am a big fan of spelling, grammar, and past fucking participles. If you want to give me a try, go work on conjugating your verbs. Also, work on there, their, and they're. That shit makes you look ignorant when you get it wrong. Until next time, Gentle Reader.
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