Call-Waiting and Saying Grace

      I am beginning to feel that Gentle Reader is slightly redundant and possibly even demeaning. You are no longer gentle at this point. You are, at the very least, a Tender Reader. It's like being in Boy Scouts. Build a fire, pitch a fucking tent, and you get a new merit badge. As a warning, this entry will be a pile of random shit. Try to keep up. I think it's funny where conversations can lead you. You start in one place and the next thing you know, you are asking yourself how you even ended up here. Most of what I share with you comes from everyday conversations, like the ones you have at work or with your friends. So a friend and I were talking about masturbation. Okay, so maybe not YOUR everyday conversations. But eventually we found ourselves talking about naming your vibrator. She quickly responded that she named hers Buddy. I totally get that. Like, hey there Buddy....good to see you today, little Buddy. She said, "Oh no, more like Buddy's on line 2." WTF? Why in the hell would Buddy be on line 2? She simply said, "Cause line one's up my ass." Well that makes total sense now.

       I like a girl that I can talk to about anything. If you can't share your innermost thoughts with someone, then you are wasting your time. I am beginning to truly understand what kind of woman I am looking for. I need a woman like Casey Anthony. I mean, she IS single with no kids. I also hear she is going to have a lot of free time on her hands. Don't shoot me Tender Reader, she was acquitted. Also, do you think you should have to say Grace before eating pussy? I think it would be rude not to. You should definitely thank God for that. That shit is like pumpkin pie with Cool Whip on top. Not really.....it kinda just tastes like pussy. Not that some aren't better than others, but I think it can be a good thing or a bad thing. I think it really depends on how much we actually care about you.

      One of the major complaints I hear out of women is about men that constantly go to sleep right after sex. That's just not my style. I normally try to give them at least a half-hour for us to talk to talk about how good I was. It makes a woman feel good about her, ya know? A man is supposed to listen. I say this again, women. Do not worry about what your man is thinking. Most men are simple. Feed us, fuck us, and shut the fuck up. We have only two emotions. Hungry and horny. So if he isn't trying to fuck you, go make him a sandwich. Words of wisdom. Until next time, Gentle/Tender Reader.